hey hey hey!!!!

I've noticed someone using my toilet since last semester.

How do you determine whether the toilet is yours???

• i live in a single room, at the ground floor of the house. There's only one toilet at the ground floor and the toilet is situated next to my room.
• i wash the toilet since the first day i moved in
• the toilet is full of my own toiletries

Basically or logically, it's my toilet !!!
I knew who uses my toilet all the while, i just don't confront with her. One of the reasons is I want to avoid any argument or dispute between me and the other party. So, two days ago, I put a memo on the toilet's door.

First memo:
Please ask my permission before using my toilet. Manner matters!!!

After i put on the first notice, i realised there is still someone using my toilet without asking my permission. Someone tip-toed into my toilet. Gosh, the toilet is beside my room, I can hear clearly whatever someone is doing inside the toilet i.e. excretta dropping into the toilet bowl also.

I was extremely angry that time. I wrote a second memo.

Second memo:
OMG! There are still people using my toilet without asking my permission. Don't treat me as an idiot. And don't tell others u r a uni student. Shame of u coz u don't know how to read and understand words!!

The second memo was pasted on the wall under the switch.

I knew those memos were offensive. Frankly speaking, those memos were written to offense people, to make them feel sorry, to make them realised that i can be more harsh than their actions.

Dom and Phing May told me to take it off. They said it's not good to write it like that. They were afraid some other residents in this house will confront me.
That night i called my mum and told my mum everything. My mum told (more to warning) to take it off. So i took it off, willingly, really.
Other than taking it off, i wrote another memo:

Third memo:
If you want to use the toilet, please flush or rinse more water. Respect the one who washes the toilet

I've done my part and I'm being very polite. That's all i can do. I just don't want others to dirty my toilet and make my toilet smell like rubbish dump. Be nice to me and i'll treat you 100 fold nicer.

ps: i don't think she rinse enough water after she uses my toilet. Most of the time i will go and flush the toilet myself immediately after she use my toilet.
ps also:
flush- when you release water from the small water tank above the toilet bowl
rinse-when you turn on the water pipe and rinse the area where your urea or excretta falls on

I want a new life

It has been 2 and a half month since my dad passed away. Suddenly, at this moment, I have this thought. I want a new life !!!

I comprehend that I am the only person who can decide how my future's going to be. I am the only person who have the right to choose to be happy, to fill my life with bliss. The reason why I wrote it here is because I want those blog readers to be my witness, to bless me for my decision : to be happy.

I certainly know that it's not easy to heal from such painful experience. You only need 1 second to hurt yourself but it takes years for the scar to heal. I really hope I can get through this. I have been hiding myself in my shelf for 2 months and now I want to throw away this shelf and live in the light. I refuse to live in darkness anymore, I want to feel the warmth of the light. I want to absorb all the goodness from the light. I want to be happy and cheerful, like I used to be, ages ago...


I had a presentation just now. I did quite well, I presumed =)
Most of my friends said that I did well. I think this is a very good start. An indicator, telling me that I will be lucky and fortunate in no time.

My brother just bought a car recently. Although it's not a new car, I can tell that he's really happy about his car. Of course he is, he bought his dream car, a black-coloured Honda City. Hope to show you guys the car soon. Even I myself haven't seen his car yet. My sister is getting her bonus this month and she has planned to buy a massage chair for my mum. I'm kinda relieved to see that my siblings have moved on. They've accepted the incident well. oh Yeah, my sister has planned to buy a house in PJ next year or the year after next. She told me about this. We can't wait to bring our mum to KL to stay with us. I really don't like leaving my mum alone in Johor. I sincerely, truly and deeply hope that this is a will-come-true-plan.

I went to my course night last Friday. It's a little boring but I kinda enjoyed it. I paid 28 bucks for the night and I ate a lot. I skipped my lunch that afternoon and had tonnes of food during the course night. Don't laugh at my stupidity or my childishness or my kiam-sapness. I was glad I did that and feel proud at it. I didn't plane to attend the course night at the first place, then my friend successfully persuaded me. So, I paid and went. A senior invited me for a dance that night, took a few photos and most importantly, I ate a lot. I also get to chit chat with Ing Hua, my coursemates and meet my direct senior, my direct junior and my super direct junior. It was an interesting night after all. Let the pictures do the talking here...

siew yeng a.k.a hao po and me


me...posing alone *cheers*


ing hua, me and siew ching


soh huen and me


4th year dai ka jie and me


me and keng sern, ji mui style


my coursemates that had attended the course night

feel good to be young




souvenir for course night


my housemates wanted me to take a picture after the course night

phing may, my housemate and moi

I did some shopping at Times square before attending the course night. I bought a lot of things and spent about 200 bucks. Anyway, I think it's money well spent =)

my attire for course night


3 pairs of earrings-only 10 bucks !!!


a pair of black shoes-20% off !!!!


a stylish sling bag

Really hope that I can go to Mid Valley this Friday. I want to shop and catch a movie. I hope Transformers is still available, I'm anticipating to watch this movie.

Btw, I am getting a new mp3 soon. Sorry, gal. I'm not getting the sony mp3. It doesn't have a cool look. I went to sony centre and test use it already. I'm getting a samsung mp3. Let you have a look when i got it !!!!

cool mp3...fewww vit

I wanted to commit suicide !!!!!!!!

my life for the past few days

It had been a long day. I've been busy and unhappy since new semester started. It all started with this accident I've met on the way back to uni. The accident has brought me tonnes of troubles. My car is in the workshop now. I have to depend on my coursemates to fetch me everyday. I hate owing people, especially my coursemates. I felt that I've been so unlucky recently. It all started with my dad who passed away two months ago. Then, I met this not-on-the-right-time accident. Now, I need to depend on my coursemates to fetch me. Calling and asking people everyday whether they are convenient to fetch me. I don't know what's wrong with my life. It's such a tangle, untieable, gigantic mess. Friends in uni aren't really there to support me. Everyone is so busy with their own stuff. They don't even have a sneak of time to stop and have a peek at the people around them. Only tears are always available to console and comfort me. The only hope I have in my life is my family. I swear, if anything happens to my family, I won't live anymore. Even God can't give me any hope now. I'm so languid now, even a word can easily break me into pieces. My friends kept on telling me," Be strong , Sam". I just don't know how. I don't think I can really find anyone who understands me in my course. Everyone competes against each other. Aren't we suppose to help and lift others up? I can only see their self-centeredness, egoness.

I talked on the phone with my dearest sister just now. I could really let go the burden on my shoulders once I heard my sister's voice. She is always so caring and nice. She knows how to console me, cares about me, knowing what I need, advices me and all. If I have to say who understand me the most in this world, it's definitely going to be my sister. It's like, she'll always be there for me.

I went out with my friends last night. We took KTM back. On the way back, I saw one chinese uncle. It wasn't about giving my seat to him. It's about him giving his seat to his daughter. I was so touched by this scene. I remembered my dad. His willingness to sacrifice for this family. He suffered all the good things in his life for us without a mumble. He never let us known even though he had any trouble or problems. A few months back, I met an accident. I gave him a call and he came all the way to KL without any hesitations. Even when all the people around me didn't believe me it was not all my fault for causing the accident, he did. He believed me 100%. He knew that I would be careful and it wasn't really my fault. I was not the one to be blamed. He didn't even blame me or ask how it happened. He only said that it's all ok, as long as you are uninjured, it's ok. He also said that he would settle all the problems and ask me not to worry. He's the coolest guy I've ever met in my life. There won't be anyone as good as him. All my male friends are not even 10% of my dad. Anyone will be insane not to like my dad.

I will be start busying with competition and study very very soon. In fact, I'm busy at those things already. I'm a bit slow at studies and I guess it's better to start early than to prepare for exam on the last minute. There won't be frequent updates in my blog. Folks, you can stop by once a week !!!

Almost made it

Father: Well, how are your marks in the exam?

Tommy: They are underwater, dad.

Father: What do you mean?

Tommy: Below C level. But it’s not really that bad.

Father: Why do you say that?

Tommy: I’m almost at the top of the list of those who failed.

Adapted from the book ~ the Made-In-Malaysia Jokes

a brand new start

First week of the new semester is gone. It's the fifth day of the week and I have been busy for the past 5 days. I have no idea what I was busy with but it's definitely nothing much related to studies.
People always said that a brand new start is absolutely going to be a good start. I had a really bad start, to be frank. My life is full of randomness and boredomness. Life is full of unexpected things. I guess this is what makes life interesting and fun. Humans have the tendency to expect something good in their life, but all the times, things don't go the way as humans have expected. Humans are weak. I guess nobody can withstand all the unexpected things occuring in their life all the time. Recently, I got so tired from the things happening in my life. I can't help but to say that I'm still not fully charged after a 2-month-break. I really need another break, an extended break.

I wish I could be a total stranger in a brand new place. I wish I could wipe away all the past memories from my mind. I wish I had no feelings so others couldn't hurt me. I wish I people could stop mention or even ask me about my past. Then , I could really survive.

I'm tired with inconsiderate people I met. I'm tired with the unjust things in my life. I'm tired with the rumours from everywhere. I'm tired with the people who judge others. I'm tired with the obligations in my position. God has planned everything in our life but why are we the one responsible with everything related to us?

new definition for 'engineer'

'engineer' has a new definition now
engineer > engin+eer

it means engine near
still don't understand?
it means sitting near the engine

acute coronary syndrome

My dad passed away last May. It was quite a big shocked for all of us in the family. My dad looked healthy days and months before he passed away. He even looked in a pink of health the minute before he passed away. He had body check-up a month before this tragedy happened. The doctor had had him transferred to Muar Hospital for further check-up. He didn't manage to get in the queue. How impatient he was...

the post-mortem indicate that my dad died of acute coronary syndrome.

acute coronary syndrome is another term for acute myocardial ischemia. Acute myocardial ischemia is chest pain due to insufficient blood supply to the heart muscle that results from coronary artery disease (CAD). Whereas CAD happens when the arteries that supply blood to the heart muscle (coronary arteries) become hardened and narrowed. The arteries harden and narrow due to buildup of plaque in the inner wall. Thus, less blood will be able to flow through. Eventually, blood flow to heart muscle is reduced. Blood that flow into the heart carries oxygen. Less blood flow, less oxygen supply.

this is the picture showing the cross section of coronary artery where plaque has buildup

Gary told me that acute coronary syndrome is unpredictable, so there's no way to avoid it.

it's a miserable life

It’s been a long and hectic week. I have been quite busy since Monday. I’ve traveled twice to Negeri Sembilan this week. My mum and I went to Negeri Sembilan last Monday and Wednesday to settle my late dad’s properties. It was tiring traveling back and forth the same day twice in a week. We have just handed some forms to the officer. The hearing will take place about six months later. I kind of feel relieved that the littlest part of the matter is settled for the moment.

The undertaker will be coming this Sunday to complete my dad’s funeral according to the Taoism practice. The ceremony will be held at about 6 p.m. Who knows how many hours it’s going to take? After the ceremony, my siblings and I have to rush back to K.L. I have class and they need to work the next day. It’s going to be exhausting. I still need to clean my room. The room must have been filled with dusts, spider-web, and some insects’ corpses for it’s been emptied for a couple of months. Sigh…double sigh…triple sigh….I still have a subject to register on Sunday midnight. I hope I can manage to ‘rebut’ this subject. It’ll be a sleepless night then…

Finally, I am going to be out of the house for good in just a matter of days. Feel so stressful staying in this house. My mum has forbidden me to do almost everything. I am treated like a puppet. I couldn’t go out at night and I couldn’t go out alone. My mum is moody most of the time. She also gets angry easily nowadays. I feel that I am victimized by her anger. I’m so stressful!!! I have no intention to blame my mum. I just couldn’t stand the way she restricted my freedom. It’s true that my mum provides me whatever I need. I would rather she gave me freedom. Being the youngest in the family, my opinions are neglected most of the time. They don’t seem to believe in what I say and do. I don’t think I’ll go back to my hometown anytime soon. I need some time to breathe. My dad would be disappointed in me for having such a rotten child.

I haven’t talked to Daddy for, like 2 months now. I lost my faith. I hope I can find the way back to Him. I regretted for burying Daddy in the bottom of my heart but it was my choice. I am distraught. I want to live in the past where my dad is still around. I want to meditate over my late dad. My mind is all over my late dad. Someone said~ you (I) have to forget him (my dad). You couldn’t see him now. Even when you miss him, you won’t be able to see him. You need to rip the memories of him out of your mind. Even if you couldn’t let him go, you must forced yourself to do so. But I don’t want to forget him. I can’t even remember his face vividly now. If I were to see him again, I would not be able to recognize him anymore. I’m terrified. I don’t want to not think about him.

It’ll be another semester of busy life. Uni life…speechless…

I can’t see the point of studying so hard for the purpose of examination. I still ended up in sucking results.

I can’t see the point of working like a cow in group works. Nobody would not care nor appreciate.

I can’t see the point of befriending with people. People are insincere creatures.

All in all, I can’t find the purpose of living in this world. I lost hope in people, I lost faith in God. I want to stay in my closet. I just want to live in ignorance…

Josh Billings said~~~

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over,
and showing it principally in one spot.

do dreams come true?

Most of my dreams did come true. Those dreams were dreams that I had while I was sleeping. Some of the dreams were sweet dreams while some were intimidating nightmares. I can remember some of my dreams clearly but most of them were mere vague images.

Most of the dreams that came true were the vague ones that I had. There was no way to avoid any situations because I only recalled those dreams after they had happened in the real world.

I had an odd dream the day my dad passed away. I went home from my workplace after I had received an emergency call from my brother. My brother told me that my dad met an accident back in my hometown. I was told by my brother to leave immediately and pack my things to get ready to go back to Johor. I had a bad omen when I was driving back from my workplace. I somehow neglected those feelings and believed that my dad was safe. I was done with packing very quickly. So, I sat and waited for my siblings to arrive. I accidentally fell asleep and had the worst dream ever. I dreamt that I was attending my dad’s funeral. The atmosphere was somber. In my dream, I saw my dad lying unconscious in the living room. I woke up after that and started to feel restless. On the journey back to Johor, I received a call from my mum and was confirmed that my dad has passed away.

If I didn’t sleep that afternoon, maybe this terrifying tragedy wouldn’t have happened now…