ambition

Everyone has ambition(s) of his or her own. Some ambitions are so fantasy that someone can only imagine. Some are so real that someone can actually bring them to reality. I recalled back some of the ambitions I’ve ever thought of when I was young recently.

When I was in primary school, I actually thought of being an air-stewardess. Serving people, got to travel, got to be on the plane…everything seem to be so much fun. Then, when I got older, I realized that being an air-stewardess was just a dream so faraway. There are loads of requirement I must meet before I can be an air-stewardess. Well, I need to be slim and thin, plus I need to look like someone who is going for the beauty pageant. This is only some basic conditions and I don’t have any of them. So, I gave up and became ambitionless for a few years. *lol

When I was about 17, I knew that I wanted to be a dentist. Dentist…sounds so pro and clean to me. Later, after my SPM, I was accepted into matriculation where I further my studies in physics. I didn’t manage to get a place in biology stream and this made it tougher for me to push myself into dentistry. At the same time, my mum discouraged me to pursue my studies in dentistry. If I want to be a dentist, I need to work with the government for a few years before I can be free to have my own career. The career that really belongs to me where all the money goes to my own pocket. Man, I detest working with government. In the end, I gave up my ambition to become a dentist.

Sometimes, I would dream myself being a pilot. Anyway, it’s just a dream. It’s not something I’ll work toward it.

When my results for matriculation came out, it was so good that it surprised me. Since I love physics so much and my results were good, I decided to choose engineering. And since chemical engineering was so popular, I chose to study chemical engineering.

Until this moment, I still have no idea whether I’ve made the right choice. Studying chemical engineering is not something that I expect. No matter what, I need to finish this course. In order to get a good job, I need to score. To me, being a chemical engineer means working on rig. Working off shore most of the time seems super fun to me.

Nowadays, I really don’t have any ambitions. I lost the feeling of having an ambition. All I know is that this world is cruel world. I need to live in reality and do whatever it takes to survive. The only thing I can do is to focus. Focus in my studies, score and get a good job. Living a hopeless and despair life seems so dull !!!!