stressful

have been calculating the heat integration for my project since before i came back for holiday. i still can't get the pinch temperature no matter how i modified the source temperature, target temperature, min temperature, and the CP value. i've tried inside out and outside in, i still cannot get the pinch temperature. i'm going berserk soon enough. feel like giving up, but i can't. or else, a few people will throw me some mean words. everyone knows what a girl can do, especially b*tch. ok la, i need to stop complaining. really stop!

was so stressful this afternoon. i gave my mom a cold shoulder. i felt so remorseful about my attitude. so immature. cannot get my problem solved and treat others badly. really need to change this bad side of me.

i always wonder, why am i so stewpid. why my brain cannot function well? why can't i think from another angle and become another albert einstein? why can't i create newton's 4th law and name it as sammy's law? haih...i wasn't born as a genius, but was i born as an idiot????
when i asked my mom why wasn't i born as a genius, she said genius always die at young age.
haih...was i lucky or unlucky?

i hope i can win 4D and then i can stop doing anything. just eat, sleep, shop and travel, until the day i die.

sometimes i just wonder, why should i work so hard. as if i can get anything from my diligentness.

haih, gotta continue my work lieu...