i don't get it

i don't get it. i don't get this world. i don't understand a single thing in this world. why does it happen this way? the objects, the humans, the phenomena, every single thing.

the people around me are so weird. not only myself, everyone in this world. the typical character i found in the people around me is character disorder. character disorder, according to the book " the road less traveled' by M.Scott Peck means you put the blame for whatever sh*t things that have happened to the people around you. you never admit you are wrong, even once, even a moment, or even 1% of the particular incident. this is so true, especially when it comes to group works. i was...i mean i am the one to be blamed all the time, even for someone's lack of informations by the lecturer due to his/her inability to pay attention during the class. i didn't mean to say that i'm 100% correct, but not deserve to be blamed. anyway, i'll always be the wrong one, the one to be blamed, despite all the things that i've done. i know, i'm quite emo (most of the times), but at least i play my role in the group, wert...
i might not be the one to contribute the most, but at least not the least...you know what i mean???

and to find a friend who really can tahan you, can withstand you, can accompany you no matter what sh*t things happen, it's really really difficult. the difficulties is higher than the sky and deeper than the sea and hotter that the lava. you get what i mean?? to be frank la, only ah gal, my bff and another friend of mine can tahan me. they'll always listen to me. Unlike someone else, whenever i share my problem with her, she always laughs and cannot even comfort or give useful advices. others are reluctant to listen. what i want to say is, grab hold of your friend, the close ones, when you can and don't let go, even once. i trip and fall many many times in friendship but they never give me up, i'm glad to have both of them. friends keep you moving on...

in exams, i don't know whether i'm too slow to perceive or i memang born to be stewpid. no matter how many times i study, how many excercises i've done, how many tutorials i've completed, i can never answer well in the exams. like today, we were given 2 hours to complete 2 questions but i couldn't manage to complete it. i'm soooooooooooo sad. both of the questions were problematic, i mean, the informations provided was either not sufficient to answer the question or the informations provided memang cannot use to solve the question. i don't know how others can answer. luckily, i was not the only one to have this kind of opinion. another coursemate of mine came and told me, then i know i was not completely wrong. i don't know...still...maybe i memang was born to be stewpid.

the following weeks in the semester will be utter torment. 2 major projects to be finished. i still don't know what the lecturers really want. you know... the way in interpret the questions can be very different from that of the lecturers'...still, maybe i was born to be stewpid.

i finally need not to worry about something anymore. if my bff ask me, what's it, i will tell, others, i might consider...hehe...well, going home tonight...will throw away everything that's on my mind now. time to relax and release stress.